Distress tolerance is one of the most important yet overlooked skills when it comes to improving mental health, brain health, and emotional resilience. Whether you're trying to break a bad habit, navigate intense emotions, or manage stress more effectively, learning how to tolerate discomfort can make all the difference.
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What is Distress Tolerance?
Distress tolerance refers to your ability to sit with emotional discomfort without reacting impulsively or trying to escape it. It’s a core component of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), originally developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan to help people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)—a condition marked by emotional intensity and impulsivity.
But distress tolerance isn’t just a problem for those with a diagnosis of BPD. People with anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and substance use issues often struggle with low distress tolerance, and building this skill is a key part of recovery.
But, beyond this, let’s be honest — most of us aren’t great at feeling uncomfortable. When sadness, anger, loneliness, or frustration shows up, many of us reach for food, alcohol, social media, shopping, sex, or other distractions to escape. Perhaps that sounds familiar?
Putting it into practice
So what does distress tolerance look like? Here’s an example skill called STOP:
S – Stop: Freeze. Do not act.
T – Take a step back: Physically or mentally pause. Take a breath.
O – Observe: Notice your thoughts, emotions, and urges. What triggered them?
P – Proceed mindfully: What choice aligns with your long-term goals? What would future-you be proud of?
Tip: Reinforce small wins by writing them down, telling someone you trust, or giving yourself a healthy reward.
Want more on this topic? Listen to the full podcast episode here for insights, practical tips, and encouragement.
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