DBT

Mastering Distress Tolerance: A Powerful Skill for Mental and Emotional Resilience

Distress tolerance is one of the most important yet overlooked skills when it comes to improving mental health, brain health, and emotional resilience. Whether you're trying to break a bad habit, navigate intense emotions, or manage stress more effectively, learning how to tolerate discomfort can make all the difference.

If you'd rather listen than read, this article is based on my latest podcast episode - tune in here for the full discussion!

What is Distress Tolerance?

Distress tolerance refers to your ability to sit with emotional discomfort without reacting impulsively or trying to escape it. It’s a core component of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), originally developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan to help people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)—a condition marked by emotional intensity and impulsivity.

But distress tolerance isn’t just a problem for those with a diagnosis of BPD. People with anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and substance use issues often struggle with low distress tolerance, and building this skill is a key part of recovery.

But, beyond this, let’s be honest — most of us aren’t great at feeling uncomfortable. When sadness, anger, loneliness, or frustration shows up, many of us reach for food, alcohol, social media, shopping, sex, or other distractions to escape. Perhaps that sounds familiar?

Putting it into practice

So what does distress tolerance look like? Here’s an example skill called STOP:

  • S – Stop: Freeze. Do not act.

  • T – Take a step back: Physically or mentally pause. Take a breath.

  • O – Observe: Notice your thoughts, emotions, and urges. What triggered them?

  • P – Proceed mindfully: What choice aligns with your long-term goals? What would future-you be proud of?

Tip: Reinforce small wins by writing them down, telling someone you trust, or giving yourself a healthy reward.

Want more on this topic? Listen to the full podcast episode here for insights, practical tips, and encouragement.

Like what you read? Subscribe to my free weekly newsletter where I explore the science and psychology of mental and brain health with real-world tips to help you thrive. Sign up here.

Emotional Awareness and Expression Training Reduces Symptom Severity in Irritable Bowel Syndrome

IBS is a functional gut disorder that disturbs the normal functions of the bowel but with no obvious, single cause. The main signs and symptoms of IBS are abdominal pain or discomfort, that is associated with either diarrhoea or constipation or a combination of both. IBS is suspected to be a disorder that involves the dysfunction of the brain-gut-microbiome axis; for some reason the signalling and feedback to and from the brain and the gut is impaired leading to changes in motility, increased nerve sensitivity and comorbid symptoms of depression and anxiety. For a fuller overview of the disorder tune in to the podcast episode all about understanding the illness. Listen here.

It is well documented that people with a diagnosis of IBS tend to experience high levels of psychological stress and/or have experienced traumatic experiences in the past. They are also more likely to have difficulty in intimate relationships and in expressing their feelings. Building on previous research that psychological therapies are an effective treatment for IBS, a new randomised controlled trial investigated the utility of a type of therapy specifically designed to address emotional awareness and expression in people with IBS.

In this study IBS patients were recruited and were then randomly assigned to one of three groups:

1.      Emotional Awareness and Expression Training (EAET)

2.      Relaxation training, which has been shown to be helpful for IBS patients

3.      Waiting list – this was the control group, to compare whether any changes seen in the other two groups would have happened anyway without any intervention.

Both the EAET and relaxation groups received three 50-minute training session delivered over three consecutive weeks i.e. one session a week. They were then assessed two weeks after the end of the last session and then again 10 weeks after that. Participants in groups one and two received a similar explanation about the link between stress and IBS but the EAET group were provided with specific skills to improve emotional expressions such thinking of someone they have a difficult relationship with and being encouraged to describe those feelings out loud as if the person was present. They were later encouraged to express their emotions directly with that person. The relaxation group were coached in muscle relaxation, deep breathing and mindfulness meditation.

Most of the 106 participants in this study were women (IBS is more common in women than men) and had had IBS for more than 20 years. At the end of the 10-week follow-up period 63% of the people in the EAET group reported significant improvements in their IBS symptoms. People in the relaxation and waiting list groups did not report any significant change in the severity of their IBS. Both relaxation and EAET improved the participants’ quality of life. What is striking about this result is that the intervention was very brief, less than three hours in total, and the participants had been ill for many years. The therapists administering the treatment were clinical psychology graduate students. This could mean that, in practical terms, provision of this kind of treatment might be highly cost-effective.

This was a small study with a short follow-up period. It will be important to replicate and extend the research by looking at larger groups and whether the results are sustained over many months. Nonetheless, this paper supports the theory that psychological stress and emotional suppression lead to overstimulation of the stress response and that this dysregulates the nervous communication between the brain and the gut. On an everyday level we recognise this as, for example, feeling so nervous about something that we feel nauseous or have butterflies in our stomachs. In IBS there is  understood to be a continuous over-activation of this system, and the body struggles to return to equilibrium.

Separately, this study also reinforces the importance of acknowledging and expressing emotions rather than ignoring, avoiding or denying them. Unexpressed emotional states don’t just go away, they exert a physiological effect that can lead to somatic symptoms.

As a side note, the researchers’ description of EAET sounds akin to the Distress Tolerance protocols inherent in a type of therapy called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), originally designed to help people with a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder to improve how they manage their emotions and their interpersonal effectiveness. There are many Clinical and Counselling Psychologists trained in DBT so this may prove a more accessible route for clients than trying to find an EAET trained therapist.

 

Reference

Thakur, E. R, Holmes, H. J, Lockhart, N. A., Carty, J. N., Ziadni, M. S., Doherty, H. K., Lackner, J. M., Schubiner, H. & Lumley MA. (2017). Emotional awareness and expression training improves irritable bowel syndrome: A randomized controlled trial. Neurogastroenterology, Epub ahead of print. doi: 10.1111/nmo.13143